Anak Metropolitan 3 Ep 5

Anak Metropolitan 3 Analysis! [Just a short one for now]

So I’m watching episode 5 of Anak Metropolitan 3 this morning, (oh yes 3 whole seasons of Anak Metropolitan, we’ve come so far as a community!) and you get to come along for the ride! I haven’t watched any episode before this so I’m jumping in blind but I’m pretty sure I’ll catch up fast.

The intro is very dramatic, we get a lot of close-up shots and I can’t tell if they’re sweating or bleeding but it’s clear to me that they’re not mega fans of general hygiene. Although, we can tell they’re huge fans of synchronized head turning – to the left, to the right, to the front, it’s like watching anak power rangers.

*Anak metro lingo alert 1* – Here’s where we get to the educational aspect. Police is also known as “berok” which means ape or giant monkey, please take note. So if you’re ever going camping in the woods with any anak metropolitans, please discuss beforehand how to alert each other when actual apes attack. If they think it’s police, they will not help you and you will have berok scratches all over your face and Suria will never cast you in Anak Metropolitan because obviously a flawless face is their most realistic requirement when it comes to casting gangsters. Your dreams of competing in princess sparkles competitions with your fellow gang-mates to see who can wear the most neck jewellery will be over before you know it. Anyway, I’m really glad this came with subtitles, because for a minute there I was like, huh really? There’s an ape? At the park? How big is their budget?!

These 2 guys are fighting at the playground because one’s a gangster leader and the other’s a gangster minion from a different gang, and the minion boy was caught touching the leader’s girlfriend last episode I guess. I wonder what wild animal he calls his girlfriend. And if he wears that much jewellery, she probably walks around with a tiara and that cartier leopard everywhere she goes.

So next we’re suddenly at a school setting and we see a couple squabbling. This girl delivers the world’s most intense reaction to not being invited to a party.

She looks like the type who’d kill her own bangs if they ever dared to stray from her superglue ponytail. Boyfriend is super confused, and so am I!

Okay back to the fascinating gangster stuff. I’m starting to realize they have a very unique way of communicating. Why are these MALAY boys speaking in chinese-apek style with the lu and the gua? Hello, it’s your own language, you can use the actual words. I find it hard to believe that gangsters in real life would spend time in their heads converting malay to chinese to broken-malay-chinese before every sentence! But I might be wrong, because donatella versace here has absolutely no problems with the linguistics.

*Anak metro lingo alert 2* – I swear, this show has been more informative than 4 years of writing malay compositions back in secondary school. Spilling blood during a gang fight is termed “kasi kicap” which means blood is referred to as “kicap”. So when you’re eating out with your anak metropolitan friends, PLEASE DON’T ask them to pass you the soya sauce! You have been warned.

I’m really impressed with the realistic hair-styling on this show. Remember those epic scenes in old indiana jones movies where they’re trapped in a stone tomb that’s slowly filling up with sand and they’re supposed to figure out the meaning of ancient texts on the wall to escape before the sand fills up their lungs and they die a horrible death? This is exactly like that, except that you’re rushing against rate of hair re-growth. I wonder if one of the casting criteria was ‘must have photogenic scalp’?

*Anak metro lingo alert 3* – The leader of each gang is known as PAPA and his girlfriend is officially called the Mama, how sweet right. But please take special note of this when you’re inviting your anak metropolitan friends into your home and introducing them to your parents. Be extra clear that you’re introducing them to your sperm-papa and not your gang papa. I don’t think you’d have any problems with them mistaking your mom for a gangster mama because I’m willing to bet your mom doesn’t walk around the house looking like an angry lesbian Chucky.

And I was slightly wrong before, mama-chucky here actually wears less jewellery than papa-sparkles.

So back in the schoolkids dimension, superglue-ponytail’s worries were in fact not entirely baseless because this evil girl is trying to steal her boyfriend for reals. We know this because she asks the boyfriend out and she does a lot of evil head-cocking when nobody’s looking (I don’t know how many of these young actresses are taking cues from malaysian dramas but seriously they need to stop, because such over-the-top expressions are okay if you’re scheming to break up a marriage or seduce a high court judge or plant a bomb in some other datin’s hairbun, but it’s a bit much for when you’re thinking about who to not invite to your secondary school party) and she’s a fan of these weird giant contact lenses young kids are suddenly into these days.

And now I’m going to rant a bit about over-sized contact lenses. People used to only use these when they’re filming demon scenes or untamed-raging-witch scenes (for example, when witch Willow became evil in Buffy remember?) but now I feel like everyone’s using them on a daily basis for absolutely no reason at all and nobody’s talking about how terrifying it makes people look! Are we really okay with this as a society?? How can you tell now if your daughter is being possessed by bomoh or not? So girls, you do not look prettier with over-sized pupils, you look like you’re about to rotate your head 360 degrees and start crawling all over the ceiling.

Why is this episode so long!!! Okay I finished watching it, the rest is pretty blah. But it’s been a good ride, I just wish there were fewer emo parts about the gang leader’s younger sisters because those parts made me feel actual sadness and I prefer not to feel any real emotion when I’m analyzing a show, you know?

I also came across a very interesting point of view here [Click here to read] and it’s actually genuinely terrifying to read about how this show is influencing young kids in school! I have to admit, my mom doesn’t watch this show because she doesn’t want my babysis to watch it and be negatively influenced by all the violence, so I really can’t in good conscience recommend this show for young impressionable kids either.

Ayte have a great weekend ahead, everyone!

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